


love

by rydellon



Series: fictober 2018 [15]
Category: SHINee
Genre: Fictober 2018, Gen, day fifteen: childhood, haha taemin, i love taemin, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-15
Updated: 2018-10-15
Packaged: 2019-08-02 15:46:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16308059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rydellon/pseuds/rydellon
Summary: taemin was just a kid.





	love

taemin was just a kid.

 

he debuted at fourteen, having joined the company after an almost immediate acceptance at eleven.

 

the second he was thrust into the idol world, all of that leftover childhood innocence and baby fat had to go, had to disappear so he could move forward, and three years later he did it. he debuted.

 

with people who were way older than him. again.

 

for the first time since he entered into sm, he was once again the maknae.

 

being in the middle age of his training group was phenomenal, because he wasn't the oldest with the most responsibility, but he also wasn't the youngest, wasn't babied, didn't have the most attention on him. he could stay at the studio late and dance to lose weight without anyone bothering him, because he was older and responsible now. he didn't have to have all eyes on him.

 

but now it was different.

 

he felt like he was being smothered all the time, his hyungs walking him places, checking up on him every five seconds. it felt like he couldn't breathe without someone asking if he was ok.

 

but, it also made him so, so happy.

 

he knew that he had been a kid at eleven, he knew that he had given that up to dance and work on his body and have people see him as more than a pretty face to coo over.

 

he wanted to break barriers, and to do that he had to grow up.

 

he was grown up, he was a whole fourteen years of age, so why did he love being babied by his hyungs.

 

why did he love when minho would cuddle him to sleep, rubbing circles on taemin's thighs and stomach and whispering how good at dancing and singing he was, even though taemin knew his vocals needed work and he had missed a step at dance practice that day.

 

why did he love when kibum ran his hands through his hair, caressing his scalp and comforting him even though sometimes the older felt so far away, so unreachable to taemin even when they were trainees.

 

why did he love when jonghyun would whisper sweet melodies into his ears, curling around his back and letting taemin finally sleep after days upon days of pushing himself to his limits.

 

why did he love when jinki would give him a wide smile, pushing his dumb haircut back from his forehead and pressing a kiss to the skin and telling him his skin looked good that day, even though his cheeks were puffy and his eyes were swollen and nothing seemed to want to work.

 

why did he love when they looked at him like he was their world, and the reason he got up in the morning.

 

ten years later, standing on a stage with three people and the solid knowledge that he loved four, he remembered all of this.

 

remembered the hopelessness of nights where he thought he was never going to debut.

 

remembered the feeling of being called into sm's office, thinking he was going to get kicked out.

 

remembered the feeling of meeting the people who were going to be in his group, realizing they were all at least two years older than him and knowing that some of them were definitely more talented (he had heard jonghyun practicing late at night before, his frustrated noises when he couldn't hit a note, and little shouts of joy when he succeeded.)

 

remembered the feelings he felt the first time he saw his hyungs cry, the hopelessness of not being able to help people you had become attached to be happy.

 

remembered all of the love he felt and had ever felt for his hyungs, his group.

 

so, yeah. maybe taemin was just a kid, but he was their kid, and they definitely loved him just as much as he loved them.

**Author's Note:**

> hi uh i still love taemin. 
> 
> still not a taemin bias.


End file.
